So I wanted to share with you something I read lately and maybe it will enlighten or humor you. I recently read for the third time, Dr. Kevin Leman book entitled “The Birth Order Book.” First do not shoot the blogger as you read this, second I found this to be very accurate on me and third Dr. Leman says you will have all the traits from your birth order plus you might have a few traits from the other birth orders.
Last Sunday my Son, Thea and I laughed at these traits while we all three agreed these traits were so each of us (i.e. my Son first born; Thea baby and I am that middle child.) I open with the first snippet from the book page 4 but know the book is worth the whole read even if you go to your library to check it out:
- First born are perfectionists, reliable, conscientious, list maker, critical, serious, scholarly, organized, detailed with lots of questions asked and has the most photos in the family photo album. (Example, you have brother who was born first yet you are the first daughter born then both of you will have first born traits –i.e. first born son and first born daughter –)
- Middle born is good mediator, avoids conflict, independent, extremely loyal, has most friends, is a maverick, creative and fewest photos in the family photo album. Middle born seeks friends and groups outside of the family to be accepted but they get offended if you do not include their family.
- Baby of family is engaging, blames others, charming to get what they want, manipulative, has to always be center of attention, good salesperson and makes sure their photos are in the front of the family album.
So with that read here is some more information from studies Dr. Leman did on birth order:
First born (one from each gender noting some cultures give more importance to boys than girls such as Orientals) is a guinea pig for Mom and Dad as first born is their representation to the world. Studies show to a first born child takes everything serious as they feel they represent the family in every aspect of their life. They are the little adult that often goes on to become leaders or scholars. First born need to learn how to say no, to take small bites of life knowing they are going to mess up, and become spontaneous.
Middle born has to follow in the smart perfectionists first born shoes so they tend to feel like a fifth wheel, not as smart, wants to make the family proud yet they look outside the family approval from friends. Studies show middle born is the most secretive of all birth orders, consider themselves the most monogamous, prone to be embarrassed easily, yet but that they do not have as many hang-ups as the other birth order children because they think, “this is not perfect but it is kind of nice.”
Baby birth order typically has I will show them attitude, are people persons, demands the limelight, born with ambivalence, photogenic but do not take responsibility for their actions.
Studies show these are the most self centered and un willing to compromise because they never have had to after all by the time they came around Mom and Dad just thought they were cute and did no wrong.
This book also has 3 chapters on birth order marriages which is worth the mention if you are interested in reading here are the titles:
- Why two first born end up fighting as two perfectionists might not have a perfect marriage
- Why two middle children may not be able to negotiate happily after
- Why two babies will let the good times roll to the point of causing major marital problems
Again all of this is just the research of Dr. Leman so those that know me, know I believe God can work in any life or situation or problem you might have we just need to know what we are up against. PS – This was not written for anything but to be enjoyed, laugh at ourselves and make me a better person.
I truly am that middle child and have ALL the middle child traits 100 percent, oh yes I do so now you know me a little better.
Until next time, keep it REAL … REAL FUN that is 🙂 Brenda